~Winter Wassailing~#7: Four Festive Frolics from The Fall

A Selection Of Seasonal Songs In The ~Streetlamp~ Stylee!

Here at the ~Streetlamp~ we're not just here for the nice things about Christmas; tinsel, presents, too many sherries, days off work! But we like to deal with more unpleasant festive twaddle too; hard packed snow, sheets of black ice, Visa bills in January, botulism etc.

And so we feel it's time to roll out the Christmas Grinch....or should that be Grouch? For today we look at the Festive oddities turned out by knotty curmudgeon Mark E Smith and his ever changing army of musicians collectively known as The Fall.
I love The Fall and have done since even before The Smiths. In fact, if The Smiths had never existed then it's almost certain I would consider The Fall as my favourite band of all time. It must be something about Northern grit, or a certain Salfordian attitude/humour that has made me so fond of both Mark and Morrissey. That and the fact they are two of the finest wordsmiths(pun intended) to emerge in our generation. But whereas Morrissey deals in a doomed Northern romanticism, Mark is more like a sage or an oracle, or even the great Mancunian Philosopher.
Didactically obtuse and scathingly intellectual, there are many who just don't get Mark or The Fall in general, but those who do usually give in completely and defend The Fall's outsider stance to the death. Once again I have to confess that I have planned a Blog about The Fall for a long time but for now we are just going to concentrate on a few Festive finaglings.
And what better place to start than with the very excellent 'No Xmas For John Quays' from the fantastic debut album 'Live At The Witch Trials'. "The X in Xmas is a substitute crucifix for Christ" states Mark in the intro before we fly into a furious Post-punk maelstrom pummeled along by the extraordinary drums of Karl Burns! I swear the drums practically sing on this song, as if Karl is playing a tune on them, using three beats where most dull drummers would use one. This is a very witty and scathing song about down and outs at Christmastime, peppered with comical asides like "Good King Wenceslas looked out// Silly bugger he fell out!".
It's always been a point of discussion amongst Fall fans whether 'John Quays' really means 'Junkies' or not. I'll stay on the fence!


Next is a couple of tracks that The Fall recorded in one of their many legendary Peel sessions. Both these stem from the one session and I'm sure John would have been doubly pleased, a)because it's The Fall, and b)because John always wished that bands used his sessions to record tracks that they wouldn't normally record elsewhere.
First up is a cover of the perennial Rock'n'Roll Christmas track 'Jingle Bell Rock', most famously recorded by Bobby Helms but covered by almost everyone from Chuck Berry to Hilary Duff. In typical Mark fashion he extemporises his own scowling lyrics for the track.


Then it's a cover of the quaint old hymn 'Hark The Herald Angels Sing' here rendered as a snarling, spitting take on the song like some mad drunk uncle raging hard in the back of the church. Some people actually have the cheek to suggest that Mark goes out of tune at one point on this song, but I'm damned if I can hear it!


And to wrap up we have Mark's most recent Seasonal Rant, a track called 'We Wish You A Protein Christmas' which is actually a version of The Fall's own 'Proteinprotection' with added tinsel and snowflake lyrics. Once again Mark doesn't let up on the vitriol and slurs menacingly "The only thing good to say..is that the politicians are on holiday", a sentiment I'm sure we all share at the moment.


And there you have it....The Fall's Festive Greet.
And just like John Peel himself said of The Fall....."Always different, always the same!"
Just like Christmas really!

~Gordon~

Griff says; Where is the soundtrack?

I was reading The Guardian today ( yeah, quelle surprise, the ageing radicals who write The Streetlamp are Guardian readers) when I was struck by a powerful feeling of recognition at the sentiment expressed in a paragraph in Suzanne Moore's column;

"Still, I can never accept the divide between political culture and actual culture. Right here, right now, we are in the midst of all sorts of exciting protests. Where is that soundtrack? The last time the Tories were in power we had the Specials and the Pop Group..."

To be fair, she then goes on to suggest that hip hop and the new folk scene are going some way to providing modern protest music of a sort, but by that point I was still musing on her question; "Where is that soundtrack?"
You see, Gordon and I have been having a conversation around that very question for the last six months. Keen readers of this blog (our Mums) will hopefully recall my Liechtenstein blog from July, where I hopefully opined:

"...with the Tories back in power and the country braced for a period of severe austerity we could expect a blossoming of left-field, indie-music artists. My argument was that right-wing government, social inequality and poverty have always provided the conditions that foster the passions for art. That's why I believe we're on the cusp of a golden period in the near future the like of which we've not seen since the magical post-punk years which came in with the appalling and infamous Thatcher administration. Consider it the silver lining to this particular political storm cloud gathering overhead."

This, you may also remember, was shortly followed by Gordon's epic Crass retrospective in which he exhorted;

"And as the dark clouds of the Cameron/Clegg Utopia descend upon us with it's twin leaders looking like a pair of Uberstumpenfuhrers from the Hitler Youth, with un-reality TV brainwashing the huddled masses, with glamour models and football stars treated like royalty, with huge spending cuts in the NHS whilst money is poured into weapons and surveillance equipment, with Murdoch's media empire educating the populace of Britain which way to vote, with a ghostly terrorist enemy being used to keep the public in line....the time has never been more ripe for Crass. In a previous Blog I remarked that tragically The Beatles aren't coming to save us this time, and neither are Crass....BUT, to the kids armed with guitars and computer software, they may not become the new Beatles but they CAN become the new Crass. Already we've seen Botched Fairytale claim Crass as an infuence and their songs already grasp the nettle, and as Griff wrote in his previous Blog, female post-punk bands are on the rise....we need the new Crass NOW. Looking at you all, I know one thing...we CAN win! I want you to sense you're own strength....go back to your constituences and prepare for Pop Music!"

Interestingly, Mojo magazine has it's own Crass retrospective in the January 2011 edition (try to keep up, guys) but it only serves to reinforce the question; Where is the soundtrack?
Another Guardian columnist; John Harris, a former NME staffer, has asked the same thing in two of his columns last month (see here and here), summing up most eloquently with the following statement;

"...There are truths about our times that most politicians have no wish to tell, and songwriters should be feasting on: 18 millionaires in the cabinet; a war on the poor; the return of a born-to-rule elite, now clad in weekend casualwear and affecting glottal stops, but still reeking of grouse moors and arrogance. This is surreal, mind-boggling stuff. The last time anything comparable happened, my generation's response was couched in the vocabulary of the old left; now, I'd love to hear genuine 21st-century dissent. To end, then, an appeal to some unknown neurotic outsider, stranded in God-knows-where, and minded to pick up a guitar and howl their outrage: please, prove me wrong."


So, where are you? Where's the new Billy Bragg, Gang of Four or Au Pairs? It's no secret that I generally keep my ear to the ground and also spend hundreds of hours trawling the internet looking for something to appeal to my musical and radical tastes and, as far as I can see, it's just not happening yet. Is it still too early? Am I, and the Guardian journos, missing it because its confined to a black, urban subculture to which we have no access? If you know better, get in touch. The Streetlamp wants to hear from you; right here, right NOW.
In the meantime, the best, almost only, thing out there is undoubtedly Liar, Liar by Captain SKA (see below). This is released tomorrow, 12th December, on I-tunes and all other digital shops with proceeds going to: Crisis, Disability Alliance, FalseEconomy and Women's Health Matters.



Hope you enjoyed that. I'd urge all of you in the UK to purchase this tomorrow in order to get it to number one in the singles chart and hopefully keep it there until Christmas, as this will: 1) provide maximum embarrassment to the government and 2) keep the X Factor winner away from the number one slot, thus simultaneously giving a bloody nose to the odious Simon Cowell.

I'd like to finish by posting a couple of protest songs that were very dear to me in the early 80s. The first is the obvious and punky Kick Out The Tories by The Newtown Neurotics. I absolutely loved this record at the time, along with their debut LP, Beggars Can Be Choosers. Almost all of my friends owned a copy of this LP too and I recall that it was very badly pressed with every single one of our records subject to numerous jumps and sticking points. Still, we didn't seem to mind. Aaaah, the good old days of vinyl...



For a change of pace, I'd also like to offer up Shipbuilding by Robert Wyatt. This doesn't shout, scream or jump around but in it Wyatt's voice is imbued with such dignity, wisdom and sorrow that it makes its point just as well. Enjoy.




Griff
xx

~Winter Wassailing~#6: 'Christmas On Earth' by Momus

A Selection Of Seasonal Songs In The ~Streetlamp~ Stylee!

I'm almost embarrassed to write this one!

Why? Because Momus, a.k.a Nick Currie is one of my favourite artists of all time; up there with The Smiths, The Beatles, Scott Walker and The Fall, yet somehow I have yet to write a proper Blog about him here on the ~Streetlamp~. So, it looks like this short Blog in praise of his fantastic, twisted Christmas track 'Christmas On Earth' is all you're going to get for now.
'Christmas On Earth' featured on Momus' 1993 album 'Timelord'. It was a strange time for Momus, and for music in general! Originally starting out as a wordy intellectual acoustic troubadour, by the early 90s Momus had adopted electronics and dance beats which made him sound not totally unlike The Pet Shop Boys....no bad thing, I should add.
Ever prolific and not one to hang about, 'Timelord' was Momus' fourth album since the start of the 90s, four albums in three years....not bad going.
'Timelord' was an intriguing album in that all of the songs seemed to be about travel of some kind. Travel not just through geography, but also through time, hence the albums title.
And the final track on the album is the one we are hear to talk about.
Eerie mechanical electronics usher us in, immediately suggesting this is no straight forward Christmas song! Momus then reveals that he is in a spaceship, light years away in the future but finding himself near midnight every day reminiscing about Christmas back on Earth, for one day in space is a whole year to the people back on Earth. There is obvious poignancy in the track for he reveals that, obviously, all his family, friends and loved ones will have long passed away, and that when he does one day return to Earth(if he ever does) all he will have left are memories kept on tape recordings.
A beautiful, glacial electronic paean to the [Griff: "Don't mention Proust!"] Proustian evocation of Christmases past.
Unfortunately I can't find a clip of the studio recording, but here is a fantastic, and rather rare live reading of the song from a show in 1993.


Here are the lyrics in full in case you couldn't make them out in the performance:

"Well I know that on Earth it is Christmas now
And I hope there'll be days in the snow
When I return many light years on
Though my friends will have died long ago
And the rain makes a sound like the asteroids
There are worlds made of ice in the clouds
I'm receiving transmissions they broadcast long ago
They remind me of things I have seen
All the people and cities and crowds
Ring the bells, ring the bells, ring them
Ring the bells, ring the bells, I can still hear them
Here on the way to the stars
About now back on earth it is Christmas time
There'll be logs in the grate, they will burn
I'm alone tape recording memories
For it all will have changed when I return
And the rain is so strange in the Milky Whey
I see cloudscapes of purple and green
Candleabras are shooting off firework displays
And I'm writing the things I have seen
People shopping and sparks from a train
Well I know that on Earth it is Christmas now
But in space time goes by so slow
At the speed of light one single night
Is a year to the people back home"
A beautiful song that will strike a chord with those who will spend this Christmas parted from their loved ones!

~Gordon~

~Winter Wassailing~#5: 'Let's Make Christmas Mean Something This Year prts1&2' by James Brown

A Selection Of Seasonal Songs In The ~Streetlamp~ Stylee!

Okay, okay....
I know it must seem odd, but that's exactly why I am doing these unusual Christmas Blogs....and I bet you never thought you'd find me writing about James Brown on here now, did you?
Not because we don't like James Brown(we do), or that we look down disparagingly on Soul Music(we certainly don't), it's just that when we started the ~Streetlamp~, our sole purpose was to write about music that we were PASSIONATE about, and while all three of share a fondness for good Soul Music, it's just not something we could ever find ourselves shouting from the rooftops about, or getting all giddy and babbling like madmen whilst eulogising it's myriad wonders.

No....this is a more poignant Blog and one I really want to share with you all.

It used to be a bit of a sicko Christmas tradition amongst us to try and guess which celebrity would die on Christmas Day, thus just like the Christmas Number One, gaining a footnote in Christmas lore. Charlie Chaplin, Dean Martin, W.C Fields, Nicolea Ceausescu(not technically a celebrity!!) and Eartha Kitt all passed away on Christmas Day of course, as did in 2006, James Brown.
I remember Griff phoning me that day(we always phone each other on Christmas Day) and us both sharing our shock and sadness at the passing of such a great musical icon; a man who was to Black Music what Elvis was to White Music(if there really is such things as Black and White music!!).
Later on that day as myself and my then-girlfriend-now-wife Elizabeth did the rounds of visiting our relations on Christmas Day, a particularly savvy radio DJ(I wish I could remember who it was but it was on a station that I never usually listened to) played 'Let's Make Christmas Mean Something This Year prt 1&2' instead of something overly familiar like 'Papa's Got A Brand New Bag' or the career low 'Living In America'. It was already twilight even though it was only after 3:00p.m, and as I sat in the car, already mellowed from a couple of sherries and at least one Single Malt looking at the pink/purple sky over the frozen landscape, I felt an almost instant affinity with this amazing song, this amazing performance that was flowing from the speakers. I felt almost teary, but at the same time so warm, glowing and fulfilled, and I knew it wasn't the alcohol on the empty stomach. It's an extraordinary track, sounding like the backing music complete with the amazing female backing vocals had been pre-recorded and they just let James do his stuff over the top of it.
It's not really a song as such, more a Christmas message delivered with much passion and, of course, Soul. It's almost like James' Christmas Address To The Nation, and I love the way he times it to perfection that the backing vocalists come in just in the nick of time, every time.
What a magnificent piece of music!


This Christmas Day, when it gets to about 3:00 in the afternoon and that pampered, saggy jowled parasite who appears on our stamps and coins shows up on your television to give her patronising blather about horrible anuses or whatever it is she talks about, why not turn your TV down(or better still, off!!) and put this track on and have that as your Christmas Day message!


The Godfather, and the ~Streetlamp~ expects!!

~Gordon~